The moral I draw is that the writer should seek his reward in the pleasure of his work and in release from the burden of thought; and, indifferent to aught else, care nothing for praise or censure, failure or success.

Make him laugh and he will think you a trivial fellow, but bore him in the right way and your reputation is assured.

The humorist has a good eye for the humbug; he does not always recognize the saint.

There are times when I look over the various parts of my character with perplexity. I recognize that I am made up of several persons and that the person that at the moment has the upper hand will inevitably give place to another. But which is the real one? All of them or none?

The audience is a very curious animal. It is shrewd rather than intelligent. Its mental capacity is less than that of its most intellectual members.

Usage is the only test. I prefer a phrase that is easy and unaffected to a phrase that is grammatical.

The future will one day be the present and will seem as unimportant as the present does now.