I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.

Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I’m pretty sure.

I admit that I have sometimes claimed to be Batman in the past. But only when really, really drunk.

Dance like you're stamping on a human face forever, love like you've been in a serious car crash that minced the front of your brain, stab like no one can arrest you, and live like there's no such thing as God.

Magic is the cheat codes for the world.

Its a strange world. Lets keep it that way.