I admit that I have sometimes claimed to be Batman in the past. But only when really, really drunk.

What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.

I admit that I have sometimes claimed to be Batman in the past. But only when really, really drunk.

I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.

By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.