I became a clown when these docs came to the house in Berkeley and asked me to come cheer up kids. I'd just had my third spinal fusion and I was looking for something to take my mind off the pain I was in.

Laughter is the valve on the pressure cooker of life. Either you laugh and suffer, or you got your beans or brains on the ceiling.

we're all bozos on the bus, so might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.

We are all the same person trying to shake hands with our self.

And I also thought that Richard Nixon was the greatest political education we have ever had, but it looks like we need to relearn them again.

Good morning! What we have in mind is breakfast in bed for four hundred thousand.

I was at the 1976 Republican Convention in Kansas City. I was running 'Nobody for President' at the time. I printed up these press releases and handed them out to the crowd at the Kemper Arena. 'Nobody keeps campaign promises.' 'Nobody lowers your taxes.' 'Nobody should have that much power.' 'Nobody is in Washington working for you.'