I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard

I think with the success of, like, every summer there has been a couple R-rated comedies that have done so well; I think it is so nice to see that people are turning out to see these movies, and it doesn't seem to be as big a stigma with the studios anymore.

In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato

I've always associated consciousness with artists like Bob Marley or Joni Mitchell or Bob Dylan. You know, artists that really talked about what was going on in the world and really artists that are timeless.

I'm in a glass case of emotion