I want to thank Jesus, and by Jesus I mean Jesus Hernandez, my bodyguard

I think 'SNL' was such a unique thing because it was material you created and you're very comfortable with it, even though the setting was pressure-packed.

I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my teacher, Mr. Chad, told the class one day that we were going to do some exercises. He meant math exercises, but I stood up and started doing jumping jacks. To this day, I don't know what possessed me to do that, but all my friends cracked up.

I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.

Anyone can memorize facts and figures. The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it. Let your curiosity lead you.

I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny.

'Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, 'This could be the last movie I ever make,' and I could never have predicted that it'd become such a popular film.