I would love to play Simon Cowell in a movie - heck, I would love it. It would be my dream role.

I'm a cotton-headed ninny muggins.

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.

If you ain't first, you're last!

I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Black, white, yellow, brown - we wanted somebody who would do right by us. And I think because Obama was that person, whether he was black or white, he was chosen