Never try to outsmart a woman, unless you are another woman.

A middle-aged cat will often play as unreservedly as a kitten, though he knows perfectly well it is only a game.

The principle of happiness should be like the principle of virtue: it should not be dependent of things, but be a part of personality [and character].

The teacher should make a concerted effort never to lose his temper in the presence of the class. If a man, he may take refuge in profane soliloquies. If a woman, she may follow the example of one sweet-faced tranquil girl who went out in the yard and gnawed a post.

You can learn more about human nature by reading the Bible than by living in New York.

If I were running the world I would have it rain only between 2 and 5 a.m. Anyone who was out then ought to get wet.

If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.