Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.

America, to me, is freedom.

I think hemp is one of the greatest plants that God put in the ground, and I don't think anybody has the right to eradicate it. Just because somebody wants to get high with a joint, that's no reason to throw him in jail and take his damn belongings. He's just trying to get well. The mother - 's sick. That's why people drink beer when they come home from work. They're stressed out. That's all grass does. It's a big stress reliever.

We create our own unhappiness. The purpose of suffering is to help us understand we are the ones who cause it.

As far as advice goes, an ex-father in law of mine once gave me the best advice I ever heard. He said, "Take my advice and do what you want to." So with that, go on.

The first time I got onstage was when I was about 5 years old. It was at a church social, and I had a poem to recite.

I'm drinking doubles now that you're running around single again.