Progress? It ought to be stopped, that's what I say. If the Lord meant chickens to come out of incubators he'd never have made hens, it stands to reason.

I am fierce for work. Without work I am nothing.

[On golf:] One of the most distressing defects of civilization.

why haven't we seventy lives? One is no use.

A sense of humor is so handy, isn't it? It lets you see both sides of a question so that you never need do anything.

Really, trees are nearly as important as men, and much better behaved.

There's never been a lack of men willing to die bravely. The trouble is to find a few able to live sensibly.