It's difficult to tell the truth about how a book begins. The truth, as far as it can be presented to other people, is either wholly banal or too intimate.

All novels attempt to cut neural routes through the brain, to convince us that down this road the true future of the novel lies.

Novels are not about expressing yourself, they're about something beautiful, funny, clever and organic. Self-expression ? Go and ring a bell in a yard if you want to express yourself.

I wrote 'White Teeth' in the late nineties. I didn't really feel trepidatious about it. It was a different time.

I don't actually believe in the extension of consciousness after death.

She had that thing most people don't have - curiosity. She might not have always got the right answers, but she wanted to ask the questions. It's very hard if you are interested in ideas and all that, ideas and the philosophies of the past, it's very hard to find someone around here to really talk to. That's the tragedy of the thing really I mean, when you think about it. Certainly I can't find anyone around here to talk to anymore. And for a woman it's even harder you see. They can feel very trapped - because of the patriarchy. I do feel everyone needs to have these little chats now and then.

Make sure the lubricant is unscented. Don't join fashionable 'schools of thought.' Read everything.