I know a lot of people who read and think: "George [Saunders] is so much fun." There's no denying you're fun to read, but as a writer I think of [George Saunders] as, in fact, not a fun and freewheeling type but really an obsessive control artist.

I have an ambition to write a great book, but that's really a competition with myself. I've noticed that a lot of young writers, people in all media, want to be famous but they don't really want to do anything. I can't think of anything less worth striving for than fame.

Every moment happens twice: inside and outside, and they are two different histories.

In a whisper he began begging for—and, as the sun set, received—the concession people always beg for: a little more time.

Make sure the lubricant is unscented. Don't join fashionable 'schools of thought.' Read everything.

Jerome said, It's like, a family doesn't work anymore when everyone in it is more miserable than they would be if they were alone, You know?

When the male organ of a man stands erect, two thirds of his intelect go away. And one third of his religion.