Five Ways We Unintentionally Manipulate Others (And How to Stop)

The definition of a manipulator usually refers to someone who deliberately and patiently plans ways in which to take advantage of us and exert control over our emotions and actions. These are the people we all run from and try to keep away from.

But, have you ever wondered if you have been on the other side of the barricade - if you too have stepped into the role of the manipulator. You may have been doing it for some selfish purpose to get something you want. More likely, though, you may have been stepping into the role of manipulator quite unintentionally, without the goal of controlling or taking advantage of someone.

Here are five situations in which we manipulate others without even realizing we're doing it:

👎 Imputing blame

This is the most common form of manipulation. We often blame others for all sorts of woes we encounter, for which we are very likely to blame ourselves. Whenever we "blame" someone, we are oppressing them, making them take responsibility for various events or their outcomes. In doing so, we oppress him, and we may even influence the way that person perceives himself and his behavior.

🍀 Solution

The best life solution for this type of situation is to stop looking for someone to blame. What happened happened anyway. If we can learn a lesson or learn our lesson - great. But we don't need to look for someone to blame and make them feel bad. If you're so anxious to have someone to blame, then look closely at yourself.

👎 Empty promises

Misleading promises and unfulfilled commitments can also be seen as an attempt to manipulate. You promise someone something because you know they want to hear it. But you have no intention of actually fulfilling it. This is misleading and disingenuous and is certainly a form of manipulation.

🍀 Solution

Be especially careful with the promises you make - to others and to yourself. Let making a promise be something like giving your word. Once said, nothing should stop you on the way to fulfilling it. Be a man of your word.

👎 Manipulation by taking advantage

This is most often emotional taking advantage. Here's an example - you know what someone's weaknesses are and you use them to get your way. You press his "sore" points or even take advantage of information he himself has shared with you to prove the person wrong. This most often happens during a heated argument when we insist that we are right.

🍀 Solution

Accept what another person has shared with you as a gift that you should guard well. People are finding it harder and harder to reveal themselves and when someone does, help them feel at ease and secure in you. Respect everyone's right to their own opinion and don't impose yours.

👎 Manipulation through compliments and flattery

This is among the most common forms of manipulation. Especially if we know that the person we are dealing with is coquettish, vain and likes to be flattered. Think about whether you've done it too - you pay a few compliments to someone and act superior, but actually aim to favor the person so that you get your way.

🍀 Solution

Be open, especially about your intentions. When you are going to ask something of someone, tell them directly. Only then can you launch into sweet talk. Compliments are a good thing, but try to do them when you really mean them and without expecting anything in return.

👎 Giving partial information or lies

Any lie is a type of manipulation. It is used to achieve something and deceive others. Omitting important information or presenting only the "relevant" part of it also deceives people and makes our communication with them false.

🍀 Solution

Start telling the truth. It will truly set us free. You will save yourself a number of headaches and problems if you simply choose to tell the truth. Yes, it probably won't be pleasant for some people, and there may even be some who will walk away or walk away. But at least you will know that those who stayed, stayed because of you.