You know, you're a great barbecuetionist.

I've had to fight for roles and I've lost a hundred roles, but 'Smoking' and 'Smith' were phone calls. That's the dream.

I always knew I was going to die in space.

And in a world without heroes, as the movie trailer voice-over guy might say, the slightly awkward can be slightly cool.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

I don't know anyone who's going to see Grind 22 times in the theater. My mom. Some kid who has short-term memory loss and forgot that he's seen it.

There's no conversation more boring than talking about what it's really like to live in Newport and how the show compares to the real thing. I just don't care.