The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring. Oh, it may sound crass, but just check the color when you come home. 'Hi honey. Infernal red? Oh boy, I ain't getting laid, and I gotta cut the lawn, I know it.'

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.