We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use.

The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G." "Sausages.

I've been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda... I should be a video game.

What part of Canada are you from, honey?" "THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.

You can do terrible things when you don't know who you are.