If something is nice about you, usually one or two people will tell you. If something is foul about you, everyone will tell you.

I lived in San Jose for a little bit, and one of my neighbors was Vietnamese and was teasing me. I said "I've had pho," and then he goes, "Oh, what do you get, the number one big bowl?" I was like, "Come on, man. You don't have to come at me like that." But yeah, I've tried tendon. Tendon eventually yields.

One of my great personal triumphs is, because I stay vigilant about my health, I was never going to give my detractors the satisfaction of not feeling well, or allowing my health to falter while eating rich and indulgent food all over the world.

People also respected my culinary acumen and my intelligence, and that was their whole thing. They flew me over, and it was this immersive experience.

I thought maybe I would be everyone's favorite dude-food friend.

If I had Sirius FM and fire-breathing in a giant puppy dragon, I'd be golden.

Shaq is Shaq. I did an episode of The Soup with Shaq, and he shook my hand, and I felt like I was a Ken doll, like I had no hand.