My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O'Reilly is kind of a bully, and he's the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground. And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, 'Teacher, sue him.'
Al FrankenWhen you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
Al FrankenMy dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.
Al FrankenTeen pregnancy went way down in the '90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.
Al Franken