I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, 'OK, this is what I'm going to do for a living and I'm going to be Weird Al.'

There aren't that many superstars around anymore.

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.

The irony is of course that my career has lasted a whole lot longer than some of the people I've parodied over the years.