I was a huge fan of 'Mad' magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old. I'd scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I'd wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.

In a genre where most of the artists are one-hit wonders, I've been able to hang around longer than most "serious" acts. I pride myself in being a very talented leech.

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It's always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily - which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters because you're supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go "Oh, it's 'Weird Al.'"

I'll be mellow when I'm dead.

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.