Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.

I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to.

Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o'clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you're acting in it. And I'm inherently lazy.

Fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything - real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it, and buddy, you're in for the ride of your life.

You always got to be happy when somebody likes what you do. It's stupid not to be happy.

Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.

It's interesting when you're part of a group - the Jews, to be exact - that the world has had such problems with.