Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

I'm not interesting enough on my own that you'd want to see a film about me.

If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

'Drive' came to me because the casting director knew my manager and called and said, 'You've always talked to me about Albert wanting to play the heavy. I think he should read this.' My ears just perked up.

I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions.