Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.

Most entertainment is trying to get you. It's tested, like toothpaste.

Be generous and you can be the best person who ever lived.

Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.

How many people didn't get a part who would have been better than the person who got the part? Thousands.

If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.

I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it.