The particular source of frustration of women observing their own self-study and measuring their worth as women by the distance they kept from men necessitated that a distance be kept, and so what vindicated them also poured fuel on the furnace of their rage. One delight presumed another dissatisfaction, but their hatefulness confessed to their own lack of power to please. They hated men because they needed husbands, and they loathed the men they chased away for going.

The parrot holds its food for prim consumption as daintily as any debutante, [with] a predilection for pot roast, hashed-brown potatoes, duck skin, butter, hoisin sauce, sesame seed oil, bananas and human thumb.

Faculty Meetings are held whenever the need to show off is combined with the imperative of accomplishing nothing.

The urge for Chinese food is always unpredictable: famous for no occasion, standard fare for no holiday, and the constant as to demand is either whim, the needy plebiscite of instantly famished drunks, or pregnancy.

Artists are never complete people. But if it's art that completes them, then what is taken away?

It's true, you can never eat a pet you name. And anyway, it would be like a ventriloquist eating his dummy.

Hypocrisy is the essence of snobbery, but all snobbery is about the problem of belonging.