I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.

These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.

I am to provide the public with beneficial shocks.

In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.

There is nothing so good as a burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

I like stories with lots of psychology.