These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.

I'm frightened of eggs, worse than frightened, they revolt me.

It seems to me that television is exactly like a gun. Your enjoyment of it is determined by which end of it you're on.

It's only a movie, and, after all, we're all grossly overpaid.

Our primary function is to create an emotion and our secondary function is to sustain that emotions.

The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn't say.

Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.