Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.

Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.

I like psycho chicks... Yeah, you hook up with a psycho, you're gonna learn something. First thing you learn is how to sleep with one eye open.

Every day theres something new. Something's going to destroy us all. Then it disappears.

I'm a black male, over 40, with no kids, living in the suburbs - they wanted to put me in a museum. Why did I move to the suburbs? I started watching Desperate Housewives. If comedy didn't work out I can always try gardening.

I ride because there’s nothing like in the world. It’s a passion. It’s something I absolutely have to do and I can never imagine not doing it.