Racism. It's ugly. Even in tubers.

If you're good with a knife, you don't need your eyes.

The problem is I am both a procrastinator and a power junkie, so I am very frustrating to work with.

Basting is evil. Basting does nothing for the meat. Why? Skin. Skin is designed to keep stuff out of the bird, so basting just lets heat out of the oven. That means the turkey will take longer to cook... so don't touch that door!

I say grace. I'm a big believer in grace. I happen to believe in a God that made all the food and so I'm pretty grateful for that and I thank him for that. But I'm also thankful for the people that put the food on the table.

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.

I keep the "ThunderCats" thermos safely in the kitchen.