The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.