OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.

PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation.