OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.