War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.

Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.