A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

EUCHARIST, n. A sacred feast of the religious sect of Theophagi. A dispute once unhappily arose among the members of this sect as to what it was that they ate. In this controversy some five hundred thousand have already been slain, and the question is still unsettled.

An absolute monarchy is one in which the sovereign does as he pleases so long as he pleases the assassins.