LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.

DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.

Mad; adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.

SYCOPHANT- One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.