REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.

EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.