INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.

Age - That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.

UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for persons of another faith.

IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.