I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble.

LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

Habit: A shackle for the free.

ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting.

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.