Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.

As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.

COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.

NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.

Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

If you would be accounted great by your contemporaries, be not too much greater than they.