Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.

Contempt; the feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear.

HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow.

The clarinet is a musical instrument the only thing worse than which is two.

MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.