PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.