I want girls to feel that they can be sassy and full and weird and geeky and smart and independent, and not so withered and shriveled. (The American Apparel ads) I'm over this weird, exhausted girl. I'm over the girl that's tired and freezing and hungry. I like bossy girls. I like people filled with life. I'm over this weird media thing with all this, like, hollow-eyed, empty, party crap.

When you feel scared, hold someone's hand and look into their eyes. And when you feel brave, do the same thing. You are all here because you are smart. And you are brave. And if you add kindness and the ability to change a tire, you almost make up the perfect person.

Keep your virginity for as long as you can, until it starts to feel weird to you. Then just get it over with.

When you're doing sketch comedy and you're pregnant, it's like wearing a giant sombrero in every sketch.

The answer to a lot of your life's questions is often in someone else's face. People's faces will tell you amazing things. Like if they are angry, or nauseous, or asleepTry to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don't know about. Limit your 'always' and your 'nevers.' Continue to share your heart with people even if it has been broken.

When I began doing theatre in high school I saw that I could get laughs from people but I didn't really connect that to going on and becoming a comedian. I was interested in acting and while I was at Boston College I was part of an improv group, Mother's Fleabag, which had a long history and has been known as one of the best college improvisation groups in the U.S.

It's interesting that people always want to ask me and a lot of working mothers, how do you do it? And it's like well, just like everybody else. It proves it's a bad question.