Because of various security lapses, some senators are calling for a probe of the security at the offices of the Department of Homeland Security. The investigation will be conducted by the Department of Irony.

Most of the women in your life will outlast the men in your life. The Saturday Night Live ladies - Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Tina - and I text pictures of our kids back and forth all the time. It keeps us connected. As my nanny used to say, the older you get, the more important it is to know people that knew you when.

President Bush threw out the first pitch Monday at Cincinnati's great American ball park. 18 Iraqis were killed.

A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it.

If boys say something that's not funny, you don't have to laugh.

As an actor, you can certainly, at any moment and at any time, discover 400 people who think you're stupid, fat and ugly.

Being snubbed is not always a bad thing at awards shows because you end up getting a lot of people coming up to you and telling you how great you are.