There's only, like, five perfectly symmetrical people in the world, and they're all movie stars, and they should be, because their faces are very pleasing to look at, but the rest of us are just a jangle of stuff, and the earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have and not obsess about what you don't have, the happier you will be.

I had to come to terms with how I saw myself. I had to understand that I wasn't pretty or beautiful like most actresses and that I shouldn't care about whether other people found me attractive or not.

When I began doing theatre in high school I saw that I could get laughs from people but I didn't really connect that to going on and becoming a comedian. I was interested in acting and while I was at Boston College I was part of an improv group, Mother's Fleabag, which had a long history and has been known as one of the best college improvisation groups in the U.S.

I had no idea how to get guys to notice me. I still don't. Who cares?

Just breathe. Sometimes you're only a few breaths away from feeling better.

I think if you can dance and be free and not embarrassed, you can rule the world.

Fighting aging is like the War on Drugs. It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end.