Stop whining about getting old. It's a privilege. A lot of people who are dead wish they were still alive.

If you ever want to see heaven, watch a bunch of young girls play. They are all sweat and skinned knees. Energy and open faces.

You learn early as an actor that creating your own material is the only way to have any control.

I would love to do a serious period drama. Oh, absolutely. I mean, you'll find most comedians want to do more serious stuff, most musicians want to be comedians, and most serious actors want to be musicians.

Shame makes people abandon their children and drink themselves to death. It also keeps us from true happiness. An apology is a glorious release.

The French have launched their own version of Google, called Quaero. You just type in the subject you're interested in, and Quaero refuses to look it up for you.

[At Boston College] I started working on the kinds of skills that you need for comedy. It's about being creative and learning to use your gift for being able to let loose and be very unself-conscious. It took me time though before I was really able to get comfortable doing that.