I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.

I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.

I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.

Song "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" is actually about syphilis.

She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.

I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.