I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.

I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of.

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnight?

Whether you're gay, straight, you can't tell anybody who to love and who to marry. It's unconstitutional and it's morally wrong.

I just like to make people laugh.

There are very few comics that understand about exciting the crowd, and that's what I always prided myself on: giving a more confident macho attitude towards delivering material.

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that.