I don't understand people whose gratification is a BMW. You don't know what joy is until you see a kid who was tortured get adopted by a family.

The third person narrator, instead of being omniscient, is like a constantly running surveillance tape.

I don't sign contracts for my books.

No politician is threatened by the child protective constituency, because it does not exist.

The Humane Society of America thinks Michael Vick should have a dog. I think whoever's in charge there should have a lobotomy.

I want to disabuse people of the idea that knowledge is power. Knowing how to get to Detroit is not the same thing as having the bus fare.

The worst place to be is in the middle. When elephants fight, the grass gets trampled.