This week's winner for best comedy line about the war is New York Democratic Sen. Charles Schumer. Referring to - well, it doesn't really matter what he was referring to.

By 1973, John Kerry had already accused American soldiers of committing war crimes in Vietnam, thrown someone else's medals to the ground in an anti-war demonstration, and married his first heiress.

You can describe Christianity and you can also describe liberalism. Christianity has certain beliefs, tenets, doctrines. Not all Christians are always living up to them. Similarly, not all liberals are living up to the tenets of liberalism.

We have way too many lawyers, the price for them has plummeted and you will have a miserable and unsatisfying life. Unless you get into Harvard Law. You could be in a yurt on the Mongolian Plateau and they'll say, "Oh you must be smart. You went to Harvard Law."

Harvard graduates just cannot shake the idea that they know better than everyone else what's best for us and that they're capable of running a mammoth, unwieldy government program providing each one of us with the precise health insurance we need, at a good price, with no waste or fraud. Trust them, they worked it all out on paper their junior year.

It is puzzling why anyone would want to (become governor of California). It's like vying to become Roseanne Barr's next husband. Sure you'd get your name in the paper, but look at the mess you'd be getting yourself into.

If you want to find the cool, anti-establishment rebels who don't answer to The Man on college campuses today, you have to go to a meeting of the College Republicans. They are rebelling against at least 99 percent of their professors.