When contemplating a shield that would protect America for incoming missiles, Democrats suddenly became hardheaded fiscal conservatives. For the first time in recorded history, liberals were concerned about the cost and usefulness of a government program. These people believe federally funded art therapy for the homeless will pay for itself. That you can take to the bank. But a shield to repel incoming nuclear missiles from American soil they said, was too expensive and wouldn't work.

My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism.

It's really hard to be a black Republican. I see what they go through. It's a good little trick the entire mainstream media has pulled by describing Republicans as "Racist! Racist! Racist!" and then turning around and laughing at us for not having more blacks in our party.

Public school teachers are the new priesthood while traditional religion is ridiculed and maligned.

Liberals could not be less interested in democracy when it came to taking out Saddam Hussein... Now a loyal American ally [Mubarak] comes under attack and they are burning for democracy.

We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity.

The fundamental difference is that conservatives think man is created in God's image. Liberals think they [themselves] are gods - they want to create utopia on Earth with wealth redistribution, breaking the bonds of marriage and ties between parents and a child.