For decades now, [Fuller] Torrey has been warning America what would happen if the dangerously mentally ill were deinstitutionalized, and it's all come true. Today, the only place we can put mental patients is on MSNBC.

Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend.

From the people who brought you "zero tolerance," I present the Gun-Free Zone! Yippee! Problem solved! Bam! Bam! Everybody down! Hey, how did that deranged loner get a gun into this Gun-Free Zone?

Gays (homosexuals) usually bring up the argument about all the straight couples living in 'sham' marriages, but I see no point in dragging the Clintons into this

Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

I'm a Christian first, and a mean-spirited, bigoted conservative second, and don't you ever forget it.

When we were at peace, Democrats wanted to raise taxes. Now there's a war, so Democrats want to raise taxes. When there was a surplus, Democrats wanted to raise taxes. Now that there is a mild recession, Democrats want to raise taxes.