There's never a recession if you work for the government.

I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo.

Democrats are not angry about 9/11. Sad, maybe - sad that it didn't happen on Clinton's watch so his legacy would be more than a semen stain. But they're not angry.

I sort of feel sorry for gays being the last ones at the sexual revolution window. We've had liberalizing rules on divorce. We've had the sexual revolution. We've had, you know, the pill, and burning bras and rampant premarital sex and polymorphous perversity.

These days, even a moderate Democrat is someone who thinks you shouldn't be taught fisting until you're at least 12 years old.

The truth cannot be delivered with novocaine.

I think there are more transgendered in America than there are people who worry about the comfort and security who broke in our country illegally, who are living here illegally, are taking jobs illegally, how quickly it moves doesn't really matter.