I support guns and I support the death penalty. Half of my interviews are convincing liberals they're not liberal.

Contempt is the emotion we feel for an opponent whose arguments are too formidable to refute.

[Senator]Torricelli [D-NJ] will leave public office with just the clothes on his back, a Rolex watch and other assorted jewelry, a TV set, a couple of racks of Italian suits, some Jets tickets, a grandfather clock and three paper sacks filled with small, unmarked bills.

I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

If we had complete knowledge, you wouldn't need any intelligence gathering whatsoever. The president isn't god. We do have intelligence gathering.

Obviously, I'm a fan of satire. I'd debate anyone, but it would have to be the actual person. That would be my only hesitation about debating Stephen Colbert. If he were playing a character, it wouldn't really work.

I know Jesus Christ died for my sins, and that's all I really need to know.