The most we can hope for is strong marriages. Married women vote Republican; single women vote Democratic.

Let's say I go out every night, I meet a guy and have sex with him. Good for me. I'm not married.

The really amazing part, to me, was when Florida made it into the Final Four, the Democrats didn't demand a recount.

I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.

Teddy Kennedy's big new idea is to wheel out his 18th proposal to raise the minimum wage. He's been doing this since wages were paid in Spanish doubloons (which coincidentally are now mostly found underwater). Kennedy refuses to countenance any risky schemes like trying to grow the economy so people making minimum wage get raises because they've been promoted. Kennedy's going down and he's taking the party with him! (Recognize the pattern?)

[Liberals] think they can pass a law eliminating guns and nuclear weapons, but teenagers having sex is completely beyond our control.

My track record is pretty good on predictions.