The most dangerous action a woman can take when faced with a criminal is to resist with her fists: That tends to annoy violent criminals, and the woman will very likely be seriously injured. But a woman who takes the advice of Handgun Control Inc. and passively submits is 2.5 times more likely to be injured than a woman who resists with a gun. So if you don't want to lie back and enjoy it, get a gun. Otherwise you may never become a mom.

Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties - provided we're only talking about criminals.

Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend.

Ted Kennedy says that our policy in Iraq is adrift. Hmmm. Maybe like a car adrift in the water after its has gone over a bridge?

CBS is planning a tribute to Dan Rather... the memo went out a month ago but everyone assumed it was a fake.

Most people in the Tea Party are nice, but that hasn't stopped liberals from hating them.

Just as we're always told that schoolyard bullies are actually deeply insecure, liberals rationalize their own ferocious behavior by claiming to have been wounded somehow. What about the little guy our poor, insecure bully is beating the living daylights out of? How's his self-esteem coming along? That is the essence of liberals: They viciously attack everyone else, while wailing that they are the victims.